So, it's been quite some time since I've been on here, and I send my deepest apologies to anyone who follows along. There have been major changes in my life, and thanks to my husband (not the previous, of course), I'm not a new woman, but I'm once again the woman I once was. I can't tell you how many people have told me that they haven't seen "this" me in years. That makes me very happy.
I haven't felt the need to write for the past few years for whatever reason. Maybe because I was scared to. Things were bad. Things were horrible. I bottled my emotions with a cork as tight as one on a 1918 vintage bottle of wine. Since then, though, I have learned to speak and open up. I have taken what I have been through and have been able to help people in similar situations. Maybe not as much as I could have hoped or maybe even more, but I have helped, and I will continue to. No one should endure what I did.
My now and current husband (who has helped me in ways I could never imagine), has opened my eyes to so many things, but most importantly, he has brought motherhood into my life. He has a son from a previous relationship, and this little boy is the light of my life. He's so smart and clever, and his imagination is as big as the universe itself. I will admit, two years ago, I was nervous to meet the little guy. I didn't know what he'd think of me or how he would react. But he and I have become best buddies, and I can't tell you how much fun I have playing with him, whether it be cars, baseball, soccer, whatever. He is the light of my life!
But what saddens me is the constant struggle my husband goes through in order to spend time with him. Granted, my stepson's mother is a very good mother, and we have made headway over the years. But even today, she told my husband that because we were going to be way this weekend, she was going to be inconvenienced because she had to pack for a trip next weekend. I'm sorry. Are you a mother or a babysitter? Somehow my parents and my husband's parents made it through every situation with kids and never complained about being inconvenienced because no one could watch us. That's because they did!
My husband fights tooth and nail to have more time with his son. He's a good man and a terrific father. However, she has my husband getting this certification and that letter and this and that because she will never be satisfied. She won't open her eyes enough to see that there is a family, despite the split situation, beyond he courtroom. She depends on the court. She can't leave her comfort zone. My husband and his parents have spent God knows how much money to get to the point we have now, and we still have more to go.
How much does a good and decent father have to go through to have a relationship with his child? I have seen my husband in states of disbelief, shock and malcontent because of what his son's mother is making him go through. We both know his son needs a father in his his life and my husband is there, ready, willing and able to do whatever he needs to for his son, and yet, he is constantly struck down by his son's mother's need for the court. If you could only see videos and photos of how happy my stepson is with his father!
I urge you, and beg you...if you are a stepmother, please, please, please support your husband. I'm not the only one. I have close friends going through the same thing, and there's no difference. It's just money and time wasted when it could have all been spent with a child who needs a loving and supporting father...a loving family. In the end, the child is the one most affected. I only want what is best for my stepson, and I'm sure you want the same for your stepchild.
