I can't believe I ate that!!!

Today, my officemate and I decided to eat at this little unknown Spanish take-out place in the very back of a Blimpies sub shop. That in itself should have warned me. She was planning on having jerk chicken (as was another colleague who asked us to pick something up for him), and I wasn't really sure what I wanted yet. Now, as a true pirate, I will eat just about anything, but I like to know what it is before I start eating. I have been known to go off on a whim and just order, but that's usually when I can't understand the menu because it's in a foreign language.

Well, today, I'm standing in line thinking about whether I should have the chicken like my colleagues or get something else. I could see other meaty-looking things in the hot trays, along with veggies, beans and other things (sorry for lack of description, I wouldn't even begin to know what the food was). As we got up to the counter to order, I decided after looking at the chicken that I would really rather have something beefy or maybe even some pork. I asked the woman about one dish, and she said it was beef. It looked like it was in a BBQ or hot sauce, so I said, "Sure, I'll try the beef." (Note the term "beef".) We paid and we left.

We get back to the office and our other colleague commented on the size of the portions, which for $4.50 in NYC, were absolutely huge (I even ordered a small, and it was almost too much). We start to eat, and I dug into my side order of beans (the beans were out of this world, by the way). As for my "beef", I noticed after the first bite that it doesn't exactly look like beef, nor did it have the consistency of beef, but it kind of, yes, kind of tasted like beef with a hint of innards (for anyone whose ever eaten Haggis or even your basic liver, it's that strange taste that you can't really describe in any other way than "innards"). I commented on this to my colleagues, and my officemate agreed that it doesn't look like beef at all, though she did admit that the woman specifically said beef. After I commented on how strange this "beef" was and how the consistency was more like chicken, my other colleague said I might be eating chicken liver. He, in the meantime, tried a piece and determined that I was eating sweetbreads.

For those of you who don't know what sweetbreads are, they are the thymus gland, only with a fancy name. After all, who would really want to eat "the thymus gland"? Being a big fan of Haggis and yes, even blood sausage (another famed Celtic delicacy, if you want to call it that), I continued to eat my lunch as if were any other meal. I figured I've eaten worse, and I would hate to waste it, especially since it is considered a "delicacy" in some parts of the world. We finished our lunch hour and returned to our respective offices.

In the meantime, I started feeling a bit uneasy, so I decided to confirm that sweetbreads are actually the thymus gland. Thanks to Yahoo! I find out that sweetbreads are in fact the thymus gland. But not just any thymus gland. Nope. Not just any thymus gland. It is in fact the thymus gland of a calf! As I said before, I will eat just about anything, and I will probably try anything if I feel up to it. I have an adventurous stomach (I'd be great on Fear Factor). I should have asked the woman to go into more detail about the "beef", but how wrong can you go with the term "beef"? Hello! There's a huge difference between "beef" (muscle) and "thymus" (organ). There are certain things, however, I refuse to eat, i.e. veal, shark fin soup, horse (though I almost tried it once, I couldn't bring myself to do it) and baby animal meat.

We all need protein, and meat is a great source of it; however, when animals are treated cruelly to get that meat, it's just a crime. For example, sharks are hunted in Asia specifically for their dorsal fins. The sharks are caught, the fins are cut off and the sharks are thrown back in the water to die a slow death. The Chinese will hang a dog upside down and skin it alive because the rush of adrenaline makes the meat sweeter and more tender. Veal is beyond cruel, and I don't even want to describe the process.

I'm the last person who would ever give up eating meat (or even think of it), and all of my family and friends can attest to this. However, the last thing I want to do is give in to my convictions, even if I do it unknowingly. I'm very upset with myself. Maybe this makes me a weaker pirate princess than before, but every pirate must stand true to his or her convictions. May this be a lesson to all of ye maties--ask before you eat or you'll beat yourself up later. Besides, it' no fun to beat yourself up!

Pirate fact: Trials for piracy were usually held in admiralty courts, which concerned crimes committed beyond the high water mark. A captive pirate could turn against his fellow pirates, gaining himself the chance of a king's pardon, but only after all other pirates from that ship had been convicted. Convicted pirates were hung 10 days after the trial.

Customer Service Reps Beware!!!

People are really starting to get to me. Here are two brief stories about people in the service industry (travel and food) who think it's better to fight with the customer and to be rude than to handle the situation like a professional:

Situation #1
Someone associated with my company recently passed away, and one of vice presidents and the president would like to attend the memorial service on Monday in Nashville. It's a last minute flight and bound to be expensive--we're all aware of that. It was suggested that I call one of our travel agents and arrange the flight through her. Well, I was in for a shock!

I have never been treated so poorly by someone in the service industry. She was demeaning and outright rude. If I could have reached through the phone and smacked her, I would have! Seriously, if you need help from someone who has resources that you don't, they should not be able to hold those resources over you like they're some magical power. She actually became offended when I told her I checked the internet for flights first. Hello!?!?! Who doesn't? I believe she said,"How interesting that you check the internet first and come to me for favors when you can't find what you're looking for. That's bad business practice." No, actually it's called, "I'm trying to find my bosses the cheapest flights possible and you were a last resort. If you don't want the commission from the sale, I'll take my business elsewhere." And so I did!

Situation #2
I was later trying to order lunch over the phone for a colleague and myself. We order from a specific Indian restaurant at least once, sometimes twice a week, and every once in while we like something a bit different. Today, my colleague asked for garlic naan (a type of bread), and because I'm trying to stay away from carbs, I asked the woman on the other end of the phone line to replace my regular naan (which comes with the meal) with the garlic naan. She said, "You have to pay $2 extra." I said, "I know. That will be fine." Then she said, "Don't you want regular naan, too? Or maybe rice?" I said, "No, just the garlic naan. $2 extra is fine." She proceeded to fight with me about what type of naan I really wanted, and if I really wanted to pay the extra $2. Again, it's an extra $2 in your pocket. Take it or leave it. Eventually I won, and we got our Indian food--garlic naan and all.

So, maybe one of you out there can tell me what's wrong with both of these situations. I work with a number of people everyday, both at my full-time job and my weekend job. I get angry sometimes, and people can make me nuts, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be outright rude and fight them down. Instead, I either wait until I'm off the phone or in another room before I explode--far away from anyone else.

Is it that hard to be polite and courteous? I've been doing it for 26 years, and I haven't had any problems yet. In fact, it's harder for me to be rude than to be polite. Maybe we all just need to take a step back and look at ourselves. We're not perfect--no one is. So stop trying to be!

Pirate Fact: Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard, used to braid hemp fuses (also used in cannons) into his beard and light them. They would burn slowly and smoke, producing a more frightening sight when he raided ships.

Sidewalk Traffic

I always used to say to people, "I hope you drive better than you walk." It was a random comment if someone happened to cut in front of me or bump into me. No big deal--or so I thought. I'm finding myself saying it more and more often, not just to young upstarts who think they rule the sidewalk, but to children, business people, the elderly. It's becoming an epidemic.

The other day, I was walking into my office building with a colleague and the woman walking next to me was pulling a small suitcase behind her. Now, of course, I didn't see the small suitcase because I don't have eyes in the back of my head (my grandmother used to think she did, but that's another story for another day). The woman proceeded to run the suitcase into my heel and calf, give me a dirty look and make a rude comment. My colleague and I were shocked, and another colleague, who was walking behind us, saw the whole thing happen. The nerve of that woman!

I'm becoming convinced that these small suitcases on wheels are becoming the newest menace to the local sidewalks. It's rude to ride your bike on a crowded sidewalk, and I think we can all agree on that. But I think it's even worse to drag your luggage behind you, trip people and then give them dirty looks and make comments like it's their fault they ran over your foot or smacked into your leg.

The other thing that gets my goat is why on earth do people need to wheel their briefcases along. Sure, carry on luggage has almost always had handles and wheels. Understandable since it probably weighs lot more than say a back pack or a briefcase. Is society getting that lazy that they can't even carry their own briefcases to work? Children know have to wheel their backpacks to school? I was never allowed to have something like that. My parents--especially my mom--made me be strong, and I'm quite thankful for it. One thing is for sure, my kids won't be wheeling their backpacks to school, and my husband and I won't be wheeling our workloads around behind us either!

I'm going to start a small revolution against these small suitcases. I don't care what's in them, whether it be your clothes or files from work or your laptop. Hit me with your wheely-bag one more time, and I'll kick it over! Who will be laughing then? Me and everyone else who's watching you scramble in your incredibly weakened, sissy state, trying to pick up your belongings, which, by the way, wouldn't be kicked if they were carried in a briefcase or a backpack they way they were meant to be carried.

Pirate Fact: Mary Read was raised as a boy so her widowed mother could get money from her family. She later served as a Lady's "footman", and even became an infantryman in the Flemish army. It was not until she fell in love with another soldier that she revealed she was truly a woman. Mary Read continued to disguise herself as a man as she wreaked havoc in the West Indies.

Springtime is here!

Well, folks, springtime is here, and there's nothing more that this pirate princess wants to do than get outside and enjoy the nice weather. It's been nothing but rain and cold and rain and wind, and did I mention rain?

So here we are at the doorstep of the spring, just around the corner from summer, and where am I at this very moment? You guessed it, trapped--TRAPPED, I say--at my work desk in New York City, slowly counting down the minutes until 5:00PM. I tried to go out for a brief afternoon walk to enjoy the "beautiful" weather, but it's pretty hard to enjoy "beuatiful" weather in NYC. Unless you're hidden in the dead center of Central Park, and you can some how block out all of the noise, smells (the bad ones) and rude passers by, maybe you could enjoy the "beautiful" weather.

No such luck for me. I'm 20 floors up on the westside of midtown, right on the border of Hell's Kitchen. My "beautiful" view includes old roof tops, peep shows, ant size pedestrians and bikers andof course, the lovely state of New Jersey across the Hudson River.

I'm from New Jersey, and I should appreciate it more. I do love New Jersey, just not the northeastern section of it, with all the airports, factories, landfills, etc. (no wonder the rest of the country calls it the "armpit of America"). It's actually a very nice state if you're in the right area. For example, the Delaware Water Gap region in the northwest is beautiful, as is southern Jersey. Sections of the Jersey Shore (yes, when you hear someone refer to being "down the shore") still has very nice sections, and you can always have a blast in good old Atlantic City, the home of Salt Water Taffy and Miss America, as well a Donald Trump's home away from home away from home.

I've always loved traveling, and I need to do more of it. My husband and I always promise each other that we'll travel more, but that always seems to get lost in the shuffle of daily life, business and everyone else's schedules (you know, the ones where you absolutely have to be involved). We're trying to get to Salt Lake City this summer to see his Dad in the International Barber Shop Singing Competition. I've been to Utah, but not Salt Lake City (neither has my husband), so it should be fun experiencing a new place together for the first time. Let's all just take a moment to pray that airfares come down a bit more.

Well, me squabbies (that's pirate lingo), it's finally that time--5:00PM!!!!!! My husband and I are meeting a dear friend from Ireland tonight, so we'll be swilling down the pints on the east side. Have a great night all, and please, enjoy the "beautiful" weather for me. I hope to be outside somewhere tomorrow doing the same!

Pirate Fact: Pirates were some of the first people to use an organized democratic system, even going as far as voting, following a set of rules called "the articles" and utilizing a structured payment system.