Sidewalk Traffic

I always used to say to people, "I hope you drive better than you walk." It was a random comment if someone happened to cut in front of me or bump into me. No big deal--or so I thought. I'm finding myself saying it more and more often, not just to young upstarts who think they rule the sidewalk, but to children, business people, the elderly. It's becoming an epidemic.

The other day, I was walking into my office building with a colleague and the woman walking next to me was pulling a small suitcase behind her. Now, of course, I didn't see the small suitcase because I don't have eyes in the back of my head (my grandmother used to think she did, but that's another story for another day). The woman proceeded to run the suitcase into my heel and calf, give me a dirty look and make a rude comment. My colleague and I were shocked, and another colleague, who was walking behind us, saw the whole thing happen. The nerve of that woman!

I'm becoming convinced that these small suitcases on wheels are becoming the newest menace to the local sidewalks. It's rude to ride your bike on a crowded sidewalk, and I think we can all agree on that. But I think it's even worse to drag your luggage behind you, trip people and then give them dirty looks and make comments like it's their fault they ran over your foot or smacked into your leg.

The other thing that gets my goat is why on earth do people need to wheel their briefcases along. Sure, carry on luggage has almost always had handles and wheels. Understandable since it probably weighs lot more than say a back pack or a briefcase. Is society getting that lazy that they can't even carry their own briefcases to work? Children know have to wheel their backpacks to school? I was never allowed to have something like that. My parents--especially my mom--made me be strong, and I'm quite thankful for it. One thing is for sure, my kids won't be wheeling their backpacks to school, and my husband and I won't be wheeling our workloads around behind us either!

I'm going to start a small revolution against these small suitcases. I don't care what's in them, whether it be your clothes or files from work or your laptop. Hit me with your wheely-bag one more time, and I'll kick it over! Who will be laughing then? Me and everyone else who's watching you scramble in your incredibly weakened, sissy state, trying to pick up your belongings, which, by the way, wouldn't be kicked if they were carried in a briefcase or a backpack they way they were meant to be carried.

Pirate Fact: Mary Read was raised as a boy so her widowed mother could get money from her family. She later served as a Lady's "footman", and even became an infantryman in the Flemish army. It was not until she fell in love with another soldier that she revealed she was truly a woman. Mary Read continued to disguise herself as a man as she wreaked havoc in the West Indies.