Can't I Stay on Vacation Forever?!?!?

After a week of vacation in Utah, I'm finally back in the tri-state area. Can you feel my enthusiasm coming through the microwaves of your computer? Sure, I'm happy to be home and see my family, pets and friends, but then I had to wake up on Monday morning and go to work. What a wake up call!

My husband and I traveled to Salt Lake City to cheer his father on at the International Barber Shop Competition. We thought it would be a great chance to get away from the east coast, as well as spend some time with his Dad, who we both hardly see. Though not the type of city we're used to in the tri-state area, Salt Lake City was surprisingly pleasant. It's a clean city, where the residents follow the speed limit and don't hock on the sidewalk (you hardly see any gum on the sidewalk). Everyone says "hello" as they pass you and men hold doors open for women. Everyone seems to be happy, no one is pushy and children have decent manners. Even airport security was a pleasant experience (especially compared to what we experienced at JFK airport--but that's a blog for another time). We ventured from the top of Great Salt Lake all the way to Dinosaur National Monument, with day trips to Colorado and Wyoming, and everyone seemed to be surprisingly pleasant.

Then, Monday, July 11th happened. As you probably know by this time, I work in New York City. Porn Alley, to be specific (at least that's what I call it considering every other store on 8th Avenue is a sex shop). The minute I entered the Port Authority people were slamming into me, pushing by me and never apologizing for doing so. Hello! If I did that to you, you would expect an apology, right?

As I exited onto 8th Avenue, the horrible stench of New York City hit my nostrils and I realized I was really back from vacation. It was almost like some putrid smelling salts waking me up from a really good dream. I continued down the street to my office, passing porn shops and rude cat-calling men and still being slammed this way and that by everyone else in a hurry to get to work. It was nice to get off the street and into the office to see my coworkers. It felt like a shelter from this horrible world you only read about in horror or sci-fi novels.

My husband came into the city last night to meet up with some colleagues, and he, too, was instantly reminded of how gross midtown Manhattan really is. As we were leaving, we both decided to hit bathroom in Penn Station one more time before the train came. What a disgusting experience that was! Did you know that in Salt Lake City, everyone knows how to properly use the toilet, i.e. sit down on it so that their urine isn't splashed all over so the next person either has to hover over it or is so disgusted they risk a bladder infection until they can find a decent toilet in the city or wait until they get home?

It's now Wednesday, and I am slowly working my way through my first week back. Truly, if my company up and moved to Salt Lake City (or anywhere in the western US for that matter), I would move with them. I don't know how a city can be the supposed "capital of the world" and be so totally unappealing. What must foreign visitors think? I know what I think, as well as those I'm close to, and it's not pretty.

Pirate fact: Piracy has been around since the Roman times, and probably even before. The Romans, too had laws regarding pirates. In Delphi, and inscription was found (c. 100BC) that set the rules for dealing with pirates. The law stated that Roman citizens should be able to "conduct, without peril, whatever business they desire." A copy of the law was to be sent from Rhodes to the kings of Cyprus, Alexandria, Egypt, Cyrene, and Syria informing them that no pirate is to "use the kingdom, land, or territory of any Roman ally as a base of operation. No official or garrison will harbor pirates and should be considered zealous collaborators for the safety of all ".