National Insecurity

Dear Mr. Bush:

I'm sorry for the informality of calling you Mr. Bush, as opposed to President Bush, but after this week's announcement of a 6-port deal with Dubai, I don't really feel you're worthy of the title anymore. Actually, I've felt that way for a while, but I was raised the old-fashioned way and continued to call you President out of respect (what respect, I don't know, but it sounds good).

I walked in from work two evenings ago and heard on the news that you and your administration have agreed to a deal that would allow the sale of 6 of our most important and busiest ports to United Arab Emirates (aka the Dubai Dynasty). My husband (a former cadet at West Point) and my grandfather (a WWII Navy veteran and a decorated former US Army civilian employee) were both raving at the absolutely insane and ridiculous news report. It couldn't possibly be true. And yet, you've thrown us all for a loop again.

My family and I live in New Jersey, about 50 miles south of NYC (we like to call it "down the shore"). As an employee of an NYC firm, I pass the ports everyday. I used to marvel at the shipments and the size of the cargo carriers. I used to think it was fascinating that this was all happening in my back yard. Like it's not already difficult enough to sleep on the bus next to a snoring, obnoxious cell-phone talking, "who the hell gave you the right to sit next to me" commuter (fun, ain't it?). Now I can ride past the ports and pray to God I'm not blown up.

What's even worse is that we have a Naval Weapons station not to far away. Come to think about it, most of those ports are near some sort of military base (NYC/NJ--Earle Naval Weapons Station; Miami--Homestead Air Force Base; Baltimore--Maryland Air National Guard and not too far from Annapolis Naval Station; oh right, and Washington, DC--need I say more?). So for those of us in these port areas, it's pretty much a potential double whammy. Not cool.

And now that the whole country and government is in an uproar (thank you Republicans for seeing the light!), you tell us that you had no idea the agreement was made by your administration. Yeah, right. Try that one again. For all of the lies you've given us so far, I'd think you'd be able to come up with something better than "I didn't know" (that didn't work for me in 2nd grade, and it's not going to work for you now). But wait! You were so quick to defend the plan before you revealed you had no idea about it, so my deductive reasoning leads me to believe that you did, in fact, know about this from the beginning. Oh right, and your administration's and family's ties to Dubai probably had nothing to do with it, right?

Granted, maybe this whole thing looked good on paper (crayon scribbles don't count W), but when you commit to something you know is going to have an adverse affect on national security, no matter how secure they promise it's going to be, it's not a good idea. As Captain James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise once said (quoting the Kobayashi Maru), "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." The last time I checked the census bureau's website, there were 298,169,913 in the United States. Who do you think is more important, one Arab company, your wallet or 298,169,913 people who depend on the guidance of their federal government? The answer is obvious to me, but hey, what do I know? It' s not like I'm President or anything!

And this really gets me: Though Dubai agrees to aid in anti-terrorism and US Homeland Security, they don't have to keep records of their dealings United States soil. Wait, let me read that again. Right, once more: they don't have to keep records of their dealings on United States soil. That smells a little fishy to me. And yet you're wondering why we weren't concerned about a British company running port operations. Here's a little lesson for you: Ever since we kicked Britain's ass in the American Revolution (when we fought for OUR freedom), they have been great, trustworthy allies, always there to back us up, no matter how stupid your ideas are (need I mention the "war on terror"). I may not like Tony Blair that much, but I'm starting to respect him far more than I ever have you (that was a tough one to get out).

Oh right, and Dubai has paid off terrorists to keep their dynasty from being overthrown. Shouldn't they be on trial with Saddam for giving terrorists money? So who's to say the terrorists won't get in? We know they're there and they're being paid very well. Imagine how much they and their families would be paid to conceal their identities and run through the streets of New York as car bombers and suicide bombers. Just a thought, but I guess there's no more timing for thinking (was there ever?).

Oh well. It's not like you can do anything about it now. If you back out that would make the US look like racists or perhaps give the world the impression we're biased against Arabs. Talk about a catch-22: either we let them in or they'll force their way in. Oh, GW, what wonder you've done for this country. What's you're approval rating again? 39, maybe 40%. Keep it up GW. Somewhere, far, far away in the swamps of Florida, someone's counting on you. Oh wait, that's only Jeb!

Sincerely,

Mad Ann Flint
Pirate Princess

I'm Tired

I'm tired, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. This was a long week, and with all the crap I had to put up with, I realized how many things really annoy me and weigh me down. Forget about eating junk food or drinking and smoking. Stress sucks! So in honor of my sucky week, I dedicate this to society in general, with a few specific individuals and small groups.

I'm tired of you running into me, pushing me out of the way, cutting me off and slamming me with your bags and briefcases. You'd think with two eyes in your head and years of experience, you'd be able to see where you're going. I have to watch where I'm walking, because God forbid I bump into you, I'm sure you'd give me hell. But not me, I take your bumps and slams, and I just keep walking. Mind you, I'm cursing you silently the whole way, but I just keep moving. And by the way, this is New York City. If you're walking slow, move over. Don't stop suddenly because I don't want to hear your crap if I spill my coffee down your back. Parks are made for slow walking; the sidewalks aren't. Keep moving and get out of my way!

I'm tired of your cat calls, rude and lewd comments and your filthy manners. I'm tired of the glares and stares, the winks and smooches. Is chivalry really dead? In many cases, I think it may be. How is it that my husband, his brother, my cousin and all of my male friends have all been raised as gentlemen, and yet in New York City, I can barely find a man to hold the door open for me when I'm coming through Port Authority with my hands full? And to those who can't control their dirty mouths, do I really look like a piece of meat? When I leave the house, I'm dressed as a respectable working woman. I don't wear tight pants or low cut shirts, no short skirts or overly high heels, yet you treat me like I'm one of your disgusting gutter whores. Well I'm not. Save your comments, looks and animal noises for those at your own low level.

I'm tired of you thinking that you rule the road. There are only so many lanes on the highway, and you can't hog them all. If I'm trying to get on the highway from on on-ramp, move over. If someone in front of me is driving too slow, let me move over to go around them. And to the person who's driving to slow, learn to drive dammit! This is a highway. The speed limit is 65mph, not 45mph. Accidents happen because of people like you.

I'm tired of the fact that you never listen to what I say or read what I send. My job is specifically to keep you informed and aware of what you will be doing at each gig. I can only babysit you to a certain degree, and it's not my problem if you choose not to read the information you are provided. I will always do my best to work with you, no matter how difficult it may be. I will always answer the phone with a smile, and I will always fulfill my obligations as far as your gig is concerned. However, you don't make the process any easier if you don't listen to word I say! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!?!?!?! It's your gig. If you want it to run smoothly and be successful, pay attention to the details!

I'm tired of being made to feel stupid and incapable. I have been trained to do this job by two very capable people who know what they are doing, who I trust and respect. I'm tired of how you make my entire department feel. If you think you can do our job better than us, then why aren't you doing it instead? It's not our problem if you don't communicate with the people on our roster. How are we supposed to know what's been said or arranged if you don't communicate clearly with them or with us? Why is it so easy to throw the blame on us because you're the "agents" and the "managers"? You only do a small percent concerning each gig. You get the contract and you get the glory of the fee and commission. We do EVERYTHING ESLE! We deal with artists, we deal with the presenters and the bus companies, the hotels, the airlines, the limo services, the divas. Our job is never done, and yet you feel it is okay to ask us to do little piddling tasks that take up far too much time and waste what valuable time we have to work on the actual gigs. Wake up, people! Without us, haw far would go to make sure every last detail is taken care of, to make sure the artist is wearing the right clothes or attends receptions and dinners after the concerts? You wouldn't even know where to begin. We don't have time to work on mailing lists or responding to your emails because you can't take 30 seconds to do it yourself. You're no higher up or better off than we are. We're all in this together, and we have to work together. If you do your job to the fullest degree, we can do ours better and more efficiently. And to think, we get paid the least out of everyone else.

Well, that certainly made me feel better. I'm leaving early today. Unfortunately it's to attend a wake, but now at least I'll be able to relax a little bit. I feel lighter already. And to all those out there who are "tired", this is great therapy!

Mad Ann Flint's on the loose! Watch out!